


Training of the Crazy

by Iamacarrot



Series: The adventures of the Red Army [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: An eye that shoots lasers, Edd... has no artificial replacements, He doesn't care about Edd, I dunno what it's called, I'm gonna call it an eye replacer, Is basically the summary of this, Lasers!, M/M, Mainly of Tom, Matt has a metal jaw plate and a robotic eye, Matt is on his wary list too, Patryck is skeptical, Paul is somewhat okay with the new recruits, Post 'Beginning and the FriEND', Post-Canon, The daily life of Red Leader and his newfound soldiers in training, This is how I envision Edd Matt and Tom's training as Red soldiers, Tom has that eye thing, Which is odd, Why doesn't he have any replacements?, hmm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 20:31:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamacarrot/pseuds/Iamacarrot
Summary: After the events of "Beginning and the FriEND', Red Leader decides to take his trio of "Old Friends" in to train them as successful Red Soldiers. Each one proves to be a challenge in their own way, however.Edd's values makes him slightly more disobedient and inattentive, Matt's new enhancements make him way more conscious and skittish, and Tom... Tom just refuses to be a part of any of this shit.





	Training of the Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I enjoy this idea. I find it funny to think about how Red Leader managed to get (mainly) Tom and Matt to be so obedient.

A smirk ran across Red Leader's face as he looked over his army base. Soldiers upon soldiers were being trained intensly, each one learning the core values of the Red Army quickly.

"FRIENDLY FIRE! FRIENDLY FIRE!!!" Edd shouted, running througout the base like his life depended on it... because it did. Red Leader scowled, of course, the three idiots he'd brought in were slow learners, they didn't even notice the multitudes of people being taken around them! Why would he expect them to take to their training so easily?

"Matt! Calm down! It's dead!" Tom shouted, gripping the ginger's shoulders. "Are you sure?!" Matt whimpered. Tom growled, letting out an angry 'Yes'. Red Leader turned to the newbies, his interest getting the best of him. "What happened?" Red Leader asked. "He saw a bug." Tom scoffed. Red Leader raised a brow. "Oh yeah. He saw a bug, SIR." Tom spat. Red Leader chose to ignore Tom's tone, looking over to Matt, who was shaking. "It wasn't just a bug! It was a Scutigera Coleoptrata! They crawl into your ear when you're sleeping, and they lay eggs in your brain! Blegh! Disgusting! Absolutely horrific!" Matt whined.

Tom and Red Leader looked at Matt, wide eyed. "Wha-" "House Centipede. Nasty little creatures. My father used to tell me that one would crawl in my ear if I was a bad child..." Matt explained. Tom hummed, surprised that Matt was capable of using such large, scientific words. Red Leader hummed, impressed, but behind that, was his natural leader instinct, which told him that he should scold Matt for his previous actions.

"A feeble bug is no reason for your misdemeanor. You have had your enhancements long enough to gain at least some control over them!" Red Leader huffed, shooing Tom off as he scolded Matt. "I'm sorry Mr. Red Leader, Sir! I truly am! I just... I'm still really uncomfortable with how I look. I keep forgetting that I have a laser...! Sir." Matt whimpered, lowering his head and nervously shifting his feet. Red Leader sighed heavily. He hated that he would always go soft around Matt. It was honestly difficult not to, though. The ginger was always Red Leader's favourite, and Matt's stupidity always made Red Leader calm... somehow.

That would explain why he was so touchy with the man when he went back to get his giant robot.

"Just... try not to do it again." Red Leader sighed. Matt nodded, quickly walking off.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next day, however, the event happened again. "You idiot! How do you "accidentally" shoot a soldier that is obviously on the same side?!?!?" Patryck shouted. Matt shrunk down, lip quivering. "I'm sorry, Sir! I didn't mean to-" "Shut up! Being sorry doesn't make you ready for the battlefield! You're just lucky that Red Leader doesn't-" "That I don't what?"

Red Leader walked up to the duo, arms behind him neatly. The pilot stood straight at attention with a salute. Matt stood still, saluting with a whimper as he was slapped in the back of the head. "My apologies Sir. Our new recruit mistakenly pulled Friendly Fire... for the fifth time today..." Patryck explained, whispering the last part. Matt gulped, sweat running down the sides of his face. Red Leader sighed, shaking his head. "Matthew..." Red Leader huffed. "Patryck, leave us please. I wish to speak to our new soldier, alone." Red Leader instructed.

"Yes Sir." Patryck obeyed, walking off steadily.

Red Leader waited until Patryck was out of earshot, letting a few extra seconds pass by for good measure.

"Matthew, is there something I should know? Why are you so... for lack of a better word, jumpy?" Red Leader asked. Matt looked down. "I'm so afraid, Sir. I've only been in an army once, when we signed up for Holiday. This is so much more... AGRO, than that! I just want to feel safe..." Matt sniffled. "Sir." Matt added. Red Leader chuckled, the sound carrying into a cackle as he put his natural arm around Matt, hugging the ginger and leaning his unmarked cheek on Matt's gently.

Matt whimpered, still somewhat uncomfortable with Red Leader's looks, but leaned into the hug happily after a few seconds. "There is no need to feel unsafe here. As long as my men are standing, and my life carries on, you will be safest here." Red Leader assured. Matt hummed happily, somewhat unhappy when Red Leader pulled away, shooing him off.

In Matt's eyes, it was nice to have Red Leader's natural warmth surrounding him. Matt knew he wanted more of it... he needed more of it. He needed comfort. Reassurance that he was still beautiful, praise telling him that he was doing well, and the happiness of gaining a physical reward for his good deeds. So, that was Matt's plan. Learn to do well. Control himself. Behave and train better. All of that would gain him the attention he craved, and all of that was what he was going to have to do.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next few days proved to be fairly easy, what with how well Matt had gotten at controlling his lasers. "Good work on your improvement! I'm impressed! What's your motivation?" Paul chuckled. Matt smiled, a light, unnoticeable blush appearing on his face. At least, Matt hoped that it was unnoticeable.

"Hmm, I guess I just got tired of being scolded for the same thing over and over." Matt hummed. It wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't neccessarily a lie, either.

A little white lie never hurt anyone anyways.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
That night, at dinner, which was held in the unbelievably large mess hall of the Red Army, Red Leader had invited Matt, Tom, and Edd to sit with him, Paul, and Patryck.

Matt gladly accepted the invitation, but was joined by Tom and Edd only because the two did not trust Red Leader with their sensitive friend. "So, Matthew, I hear that you have improved dramatically in your training." Red Leader acknowledged, an impressed tone in his voice. Matt smiled bashfully, eating a small amount of the (surprisingly decent) spaghetti that was served for dinner to keep his flushed cheeks hidden.

Matt nodded, wiping his mouth neatly before taking another scoop of his food. "Well? Are you going to tell him your technique?" Patryck asked, an obvious hostile tone in his voice. Red Leader sighed, apologizing for Patryck's behaviour. "I've just been practicing a lot. I wanted to try and improve." Matt hummed. "Uh-huh, you sure it isn't because you want Red Leader to get in your pants?" Patryck muttered. Matt sputtered, a heavy blush appearing on his face. "What?! Why would I want to- I would never! The obscenity!" Matt whimpered, making sure that he wasn't too loud.

Red Leader smiled, standing and excusing himself, requesting for Matt to follow.

Matt did so, gasping as Red Leader pushed him against a wall outside of the mess hall.

"I'm very proud that you've improved, and, just for me too~" Red Leader purred, pressing his body against Matt's. "I think my soldier deserves a treat, don't you?"

"Y-yes Sir..." Matt whimpered desperately, paying more attention to Red Leader's... deformity, than he ever had before. It seems that, now, when he was up close, Matt noticed how... interesting, the burn smelled. Not in a bad way. It was somewhat of a smoky smell, with a mixture of alcohol and strong cologne. Red Leader smiled as he noticed Matt's large focus on his burns, leaning against the man and rubbing his burned cheek against Matt's neck.

Matt shivered, surprised by how soft Red Leader's skin actually was, melting at the sensation.

"I'm glad you like it. Now, with that out of the way, would my Brave Soldier like some dessert?" Red Leader asked. Matt hummed, confused, but too focused on the soft sensation on his neck. Red Leader pulled off of Matt, switching the pair's position so that Matt was above him. "Well? It's not going to serve itself. You have to work for it~" Red Leader instructed.

Matt went wide-eyed, suddenly realizing the intensity of the situation. "S-sir, are you sure???" Matt whimpered, his answer presenting itself when Red Leader sat down and pulled Matt with him. "I've never been more sure about getting head in my life." Red Leader chuckled. Matt nodded, moving his hand to palm Red Leader's crotch, finding that the dictator was already hard. "Should I start, Sir?" Matt asked. "You can't give head if you're hesitant baby~ You have to start soon if you want your dessert now~"

Matt gave a dopey smile, taking no time to begin unzipping Red Leader's trousers and pulling them down.

Once Matt rid Red Leader of his offending clothing, he took a brief look at Red Leader's length (which appeared to be around 4 1/2 inches. Wow now. :3) before taking his length in quickly. "Oh FUCK!" Red Leader keened, unprepared for the sudden wet heat. Matt hummed, the sound vibrating against his lover's dick, sending delicious shivers down Red Leader's spine. "Oh yes! Faster! Swallow me Matthew! You have no idea how much I've craved this!" Red Leader whined, voice raising a few octaves.

Matt moaned, grunting when he felt a solid grip in his hair, knowing he would have horrible tangles after this.

To get back at his commander, Matt slowed his pace, taking a long, slow lick along the large vein underneath his lover's dick. Red Leader growled, thrusting into Matt's mouth and wailing like a cat in heat. Matt groaned, reaching down into his own pants and pumping himself. Red Leader whimpered, breathing heavy as he felt his release coming near. "Please, faster, I can feel it, I want so badly to reward my Brave Soldier!" Red Leader pleaded, his normal, aggressive demeanor having long passed.

Matt obliged, surprise shooting through him as Red Leader came upon the increase of speed.

"My... apologies." Red leader panted, chuckling as he watched Matt swallow down his release.

With one last suck to make sure he'd gotten every last drop, Matt pulled back, groaning as he continued to masturbate. "Did you like my reward?" Red Leader asked. Matt nodded, smiling as Red Leader pulled him into a kiss. "Would you like this to be your reward whenever I feel you deserve one?" Red Leader asked. Matt made a sound of approval, panting at his own release. "How cute." Red Leader mused, pulling Matt close. "Next time, I'll help you. Who knows, maybe, if you impress me enough, we could do more than giving each other head~"

"Yes, I want that." Matt whined. Red Leader smirked, holding Matt closer. "We should, get cleaned." Matt hummed, becoming uncomfortable with the feeling of sitting in his own cum. Red Leader agreed, the two parting ways as they walked to their respective areas.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"So, what did you learn?" Paul asked.

"Duh, he's motivated by sex! It's obvious. Honestly, I've never seen Red Leader in such a heavy afterglow before." Patryck answered. "I've never had anyone like that before~ Every other soldier is so... serious. They act like it's some kind of job. But Matt, he treats me like I'm his God~" Red Leader mused, ignoring Paul and Patryck's conversation.

Paul and Patryck looked at each other, Paul blushing and smiling, and Patryck blushing and frowning. "Oh, you're usually so romantic, Pat! Why are you so upset, hun?" Paul asked, leaning against his lover. Patryck huffed, pulling Paul into a hug. "I just don't feel right about... this. Red Leader is getting himself into a situation that he doesn't need to get into. Making Love to some soldier that he's been pining for even before now. How does he know that Matt isn't just using him?" Patryck asked. "You heard them Pat, I know you did. They had a passion, something that I haven't heard from anyone ever since we first made love." Paul hummed.

Patryck made an odd noise, rolling his eyes.

"Patryck! Write this down! In order to train Matthew, I need to open myself up to him! I need to feel what he does! I NEED TO BE INSIDE OF HIM...! Write that last one in all caps." Red Leader ordered. Patryck rolled his eyes, grabbing a notepad and a pen, and writing down the three phrases. "Soooo, you're really thinking about true sex? It takes a lot of emotion for that to happen." Paul advised. "Paul, sex, is sex. Sensual or not. Any idiot can fuck any other idiot without feelings." Patryck huffed.

"Oh! Is that how you feel about OUR relationship?!" "Oh jeez." Patryck sighed. "Honey, I didn't even-" "Don't you "Honey I didn't even" me! Does it, or does it not pertain to our relationship?!" "No!" "Prove it!" "HOW?!"

Red leader rolled his eye as his pilots continued arguing, walking off and smiling to himself. He now knew how to train Matt, and it was a damn good method in his opinion. Now, all he had to do, was learn how to train Edd and Tom.

Oh fuck...

He just remembered. Edd was a bitch when it came to training, and he hated Tom...

Well, this just sucks dick, now doesn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> All of the jokes in this were unnoticed until I finished typing, and were not intended in any way. :3


End file.
